How did you meet?
We met on Lex, because Jude posted about wanting to kiss someone. Alice thought they were cute and liked their profile picture, so she messaged them. The rest is history.
Tell us about your engagement.
Jude proposed to Alice on the beach in Santa Cruz with a surprise picnic and a cake from her favorite bakery, Gayle’s in Capitola. Morgan Alanna also photographed the proposal.
Alice proposed to Jude with ANOTHER picnic in the park where they had their first date after a scavenger hunt.
#WeddingGoals
We knew that we wanted it to be filled with flowers. With the help of some family members, we made the floral arrangements, Jude’s crown, the boutonnières, and corsages, and we think they turned out beautifully. It was also important to us to be able to dance, especially for Alice. We curated a playlist of songs I knew we loved so we could bop all night.
How did the planning go?
We used a spreadsheet template from The Know for planning EVERYTHING. There were hiccups along the way, but Alice’s amazing planning helped it all come together smoothly. Favorite memory was definitely trying different cakes and wines. Since we handmade our cake, it was fun to sample so many flavors and frostings. We did also sample some from a bakery, but homemade was much more special and fun to decorate together. Walking the cake from the counter to the fridge after the final icing was the most stressful moment of my life. Even more so than walking down the aisle. Also, tasting the wine we sampled while we tried the catering. It was fun to see which ones went with the food, and because we’re not sommeliers by any means, we just got to pick ones that we thought were the tastiest. Alice loved thrifting all the glassware and tableware; it was like a year long treasure hunt.
Biggest Challenge
The worst moments were navigating awkward social situations. For Alice it was also challenging when things didn’t get executed on the wedding day. Since it was DIY, I spent so much time planning every little detail; when some things didn’t make it out as decor, or were in the wrong set up on the day, that was hard.
How would you describe the ceremony?
Valarie doing the ceremony was really special because she has been such a role model to Jude, and we wanted to include her in a role. She met with us several times beforehand to tailor the ceremony to our belief systems and our love story. She helped us write incredible vows that we will treasure forever. We created a handfasting cord together with ribbon and lace, which made it extra special to have as a memento of tying the knot. To be able to do it under the gazebo was a dream come true, because it is such a beautiful garden. We felt that it represented how much we have grown and will grow together as a couple. It also made for some awesome pictures.
Memorable Moments
All of our speech makers did an amazing job. We had such a great time dancing with everyone, and every guest told us that it was one of the best weddings they have been to. It was very relaxed and wholesome, seeing all of our family and chosen family there to support us on our special day. In the midst of this chaotic year, it was like a dream come true.
We also enjoyed changing outfits during the reception. Jude had this amazing heart-shaped cutout on her vest that they couldn’t wait to unveil. Alice handmade her dress and garter, so that was a special touch. It was just so nice to be able to incorporate our own art into the day.
Special Moment
Jude’s identity was affirmed by calling themself both bride and groom. Their wedding party were the Judesmates. We had many terms for the wedding that helped affirm their identity in a way that usurped the wedding norm.
Any funny or unexpected wedding moments that happened throughout the day?
Our friend was the “flower guy”, and she pranced and twirled down the aisle. It was so charming and made Alice giggle right before she walked out.
The ring bearer, our friend’s four-year-old son, was so excited about his little outfit with suspenders and a pocket square. He kept snapping the suspenders and was the life of the party. He also learned how to fold a pocket square and walked around the reception showing everyone. So adorable!!
Special Dances:
First Dance: How Sweet It Is by Remi Wolf
Family Dance Song: Baby by Justin Bieber
Garter Toss Song: Alice’s lap dance to Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl by Chappell Roan
Special Dance: Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan
What was the best part of your day?
Jude: The best part of the day was getting to be with my wife all day and watch her transform from my fiancee to my wife. It was so special to stand in front of her and proclaim our love for the world to see! So many queer couples for so many centuries have not been able to celebrate their love like we did that day, and it felt like such a blessing to have the opportunity to do it and be surrounded by so many loved ones, and just have our hearts be filled all day.
Alice: Seeing our love for each other be so supported and surrounded by such love from family and friends. It was an honor to have friends come from other continents, our family and chosen family. That’s not something we take for granted as a queer couple. It made me feel so hopeful and loved. Also, getting ready with my bridesmaids was so special, getting to be girly and silly together all morning. And getting to debrief it all with Jude at the end of the night, in the bathtub of our hotel room with dominoes, cheesy bread and champagne.
Favorite Detail
Jude: My favorite detail was definitely my cape. My designer did such an incredible job making my dream suit come to life, and the little bluebird details as pins were the perfect touch. I felt like a fairy prince come to life.
Alice: I loved my bouquet and Jude’s flower crown.
#VendorRaves
House of Frankie for Jude’s suit, and Morgan Alanna Photography blew it out of the park with the photos—obviously!
Advice from the Couple
Don’t let people tell you how your wedding should look. Corporations, friends, or family, it’s all about you. If you want to do the whole thing by yourselves, you can do it (with time and a lot of organization). You don’t have to spend $20,000 dollars or more to have your dream wedding.
