Anyone who’s been to a bar and had extra-friendly service from the bartender has probably just assumed that the kindness was false; a bartender who flirts with customers is likely to get extra tips, after all.
“I will tell you that is not even true, at least not for me,” says Jessica, who was tending bar when she first met Jenna. “I had been hitting on Jenna for several months and was getting nothing back from her. Finally, one night her best friend was pretty much elbowing her, telling her to at least flirt back.” Flirt back Jenna did, and four years later, the two tied the knot at Granite Bay Golf Club. While they initially thought they’d get married in a family member’s backyard, they fell in love with the beauty of the golf club’s grounds, the ease of not having to plan each individual detail on their own, and the friendliness of the club’s resident wedding planner. “As a same-sex couple, you have to think about whether your wedding will be welcome in a venue and whether you will have to fight prejudice,” Jenna says. “But everyone at the club welcomed us and was excited for our wedding.”
Because of weather concerns, the ceremony had to be moved indoors at the last minute to the club’s Library. But Jessica says that was just fine with her, as the floral designer and club staff gave the room an incredibly romantic feel, with cream linens, warm candles, and a stunning amount of deep-red roses that lit up the room. Their ceremony included not just promises to each other, but also promises to Jenna’s daughter. “It was moving,” Jessica says. “I was sobbing.”
However, the sobbing quickly tuned to celebration as the intimate 60-person wedding began to celebrate. They skipped most of the traditional first dances and went right to tearing up the dance floor, which was rocking non-stop. “Our DJ was amazing and kept everyone dancing all night,” says Jessica. “We have proof of his amazing DJ skills, because our nephew Scott literally split his pants from top of trouser past his leg. Apparently he knows how to drop it low.”
Both Jenna and Jessica agree they didn’t want to create a wedding, rather a celebration: of love, of each other, and of the recent legalization of same-sex marriage in the U.S. “It has and continues to be a long road. So finding my person, the person that I choose to spend my life with, means more to me than a party,” says Jessica. “It is and was a celebration.”
First Dance Song
“Is That Alright” by Lady GaGa
Cake Cutting Song
“Love Never Felt So Good” by Justin Timberlake/ Michael Jackson
Last Dance Song
“Book of Love” by Peter Gabriel
Details about the cake
A buttermilk cake, Italian meringue frosting (semi-naked), citrus buttercream and lemon mousse filling. We used fresh flowers, coordinated with other flowers and provided by florist. DELICIOUS!
Details about the flowers
We asked for living, natural, atypical flowers; we specifically requested gerber daisies, (Jessica’s favorite) and succulents for table settings. We had eight tables: four with an actual centerpiece and four with books, candles, and scattered petals.
Anything else you’d like to share about your wedding?
• Every vendor we had was amazing. If we could hand our wedding to someone else and say “do this” we would. We have talked about it a lot since and would not change a single thing.
• We asked our parents to participate in one way or another throughout the ceremony or reception. Both of our mothers read poems we had chosen. Jessica’s father walked her down the aisle and Jenna’s father lead us all in prayer before the reception started. It was important to us and felt so special to have our parents be apart of our day.
Any tips you’d give brides and grooms planning their wedding today?
• Be flexible!! Your wedding day will not go off without a hitch of some sort or other. Our venue coordinator, who we adore, ended up in the hospital at 3 AM the morning of our wedding. She called in the B Team who, along with our experienced photographer, made it all happen. In addition, the ceremony was supposed to be outside but the Camp Fire was wreaking havoc with the air quality. So, we had to move the ceremony inside. Our florist turned the revised location into a thing of beauty. Our ceremony was gorgeous.
• Jessica works in the restaurant industry and knew that having a weekend wedding was pretty much out of the question, schedule wise. So, when we started looking for ceremony and reception sites, we went in with a weekday wedding in mind. We never expected to see how much the price dropped when choosing a weekday for our wedding. We nearly saved $11K, by getting married on a Monday. We chose Veterans Day, we knew that everyone coming from in town and out of town would most likely have the day off from work, and flights would be less expensive. We also learned in the process of choosing Granite Bay Golf Club as our site, that they are closed on Monday, so we had the whole club to ourselves, including some amazing photos on the golf course, with no golfers in sight. Bonus, bonus, bonus. We also learned that we were the first Monday wedding the club has ever had. LOL.
• As much as we tried to do a lot of things ourselves, we ended up realizing that no one does it better than the professionals. All of our vendors made sure there was nothing we needed to handle. They had it all under control. Our Florist had vases that we rented, Granite Bay provided all linens, glassware, food, alcohol, N/A drinks, appetizers for the bridal suites, etc. The only thing we brought day of was pictures of family for our remembrance table, custom pictures of us for the eight reception tables, our engagement book for signing, and vintage cake cutting set.
What would you have done differently if you had the chance?
We would not change a single thing. Our wedding was perfect for us.
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